Im Running For President

How to lose an election in 10 Days

200,000 People screaming for the Messiah, Enlightment in 24 Hours, Rock the Casbah Barry, And the now worthless Rock and Roll Vote...Plus, throw America under the Bus--We're shooting for Him to be President of the World you fool! Global Leadership swings back towards the New Failures of socialism. Good Luck Everyone.



Barry took off to Show the Middle East and Europe just how Messiahs get down. In tow he brought every major news anchor besides Dan Rather. Basically because Rather cant be trusted and he might ask a legitimate question that was not "scripted" by the Obama Camp for Barry to answer. Thats a smart move that the American people will never catch on to. Roll with the Friendlies, stick to the script.

Interestingly enough a few things of significance have happened over the past week that you would probably miss if youre caught up in the razzle dazzle of the campaign of change.

This Trip/Tour is the brain child of Barry's Top Advisers. As you know, if it wouldnt yield a serious jump in the polls they would never even bother. So now, after giving a speech for 200,000 Good Germans, Barry is left with no pint gains in the polls. How did this happen?

1) Bad Karma-Dont lie! Obama was asked by an Israeli reporter on his commitment to protect the Jewish State. In his response he claimed to be a member of The Committee on Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs which tightens sanctions and authorizes divestment from Iran. His response: "Just this past week, we passed out of the out of the U.S. Senate Banking Committee - which is my committee - a bill to call for divestment from Iran as way of ratcheting up the pressure to ensure that they don't obtain a nuclear weapon," He's not on that committee--Back to saying anything to get elected

2)Try not to insult an entire culture- Obama visited the Western Wall in Jerusalem. In the background there was Obama banners printed in Hebrew. It looked like the people were eagerly awaiting the Messiahs arrival. Guess again--The Obama campaign had the banners and signs Pre-Printed and brought over there and hung everywhere. Local Police were confused because it was seen as Unorthodox and Bad Taste to bring your own political campaign signs to this event. Police stated that NO political leader has had the audacity to do that in history. This is why the crowd was heckling him. "Obama, Jerusalem is not for sale!"




3)Try Not to insult your troops when your overseas-Obama was scheduled to visit with Troops in Germany. he was told that he could visit but he could not use the visit as a "Paid Campaign Event" (after all, thats what this whole trip is).

The Pentagon said you can come, but you can't bring the media circus and you can't bring the cameras. When the Pentagon said you can't bring thecameras, that's whentheObama people said they're not going.Why bother if its not going to be worth points in the polls right? Scumbag-He cancelled the trip and went to go workout instead. Pentagon rules say that the troops can be visited with himself and up to 3 aides. He couldve went as a proud citizen, and that wouldve been the only motivation, so he didnt go.

4) Try to get your facts straight-he insulted the Air Force by saying that the weather was so bad during the Berlin Airlift that a bunch of planes turned back. Well, not many planes turned back--and the weather was bad. The pint of an air lift is to lift people off the ground. The weather had gotten too bad and planes were unable to land--You dont launch a strategic air lift when you cant land. Also said that the walls were torn down in Belfast. No their not, they are still there!

5)Chill the fuck out -Do you know that Obama has already created a "Transition Team" to help him with his move into the White House? This shouldnt be a surprise--After all, he is touring the world and addressing the worlds problems already as the President

6) Try not to Trash your country-Obama called americans terrorizers and torturers. Thanks Barry.

Well, there you have it. Our leader-The Messiah. Cant get his facts straight and still cant stop lying. The ironic part is that this whole trip didnt earn him one point in the polls. Do you kow why? Because Americans are starting to care about their own situations again. We need affordable energy, We need to know why unscrupulous lenders are always bailed out for their shady lending tactics while we pay for it. America wants to be back on track. The simple notion of change isnt making followers faint anymore. There is no blessing amongst us until our wallets fatten up.

The 60 Lies from Our Loving Mesiah

Here they are folks, the 60 lies over the past year or so from The Most Flawed Candidate in US History, your Saviour, your Messiah, Barrack "The Flop" Obama. Courtesty of http://obamawtf.blogspot.com

# 60 Obama claims he wants vigorous and open debate on the issues; goes out of his way to avoid it
# 59 Obama omits key details about the source of a false rumor re video of Michelle's "whitey" rant to justify breaking funding promise
# 58 Obama tries to deceive about why he voted present over 100 times in the Illinois Senate: Chicago paper reveals the truth
# 57 To claim family patriotism Obama says his grandad enlisted the day after Pearl Harbor; Army records don't agree
# 56 Claims race and party are second, as people feel American first; 93% block vote & Michelle's talk of "Black America waking up"disprove
# 55 On June 5, Obama stated that Israel must remain undivided; June 6 on CNN he reversed his position
# 54 To further his own agenda, Obama grossly overstates the number of potential African-American votes in MS, GA, SC
# 53 Promise of $2500 reduction in Healthcare premiums needs billions in Admin cost savings by 2012: not possible
# 52 Obama omits to mention he took a 3 week trip to the Islamic Republic of Pakistan until it slips out trying to outdo Clinton
# 51 Obama claims McCain wants to wage a lengthy war in Iraq: Video proves Obama's lying
# 50 Obama claimed he had never prayed in a Mosque; his campaign had to retract that statement
# 49 Obama dishonestly used third party comments in his ads to pump up his healthcare plan
# 48 Claims he never discussed politics with Pastor; rebutted by photo of Obama with team of lobbyists led by Wright
# 47 Obama, an expert at parsing words, claimed he wasn't familiar with the word "Clintonian"; then changed his story
# 46 Despite reeking of cigarettes, Obama denied smoking to ABC; now admits smoking on MSNBC
# 45 Obama said he'd meet unconditionally with Leader of Iran: now claims he "didn't have Ahmadinejad in mind"
# 44 Obama claims he is using public financing to avoid special interests: WSJ nails his switcheroo
# 43 Obama's rhetoric claims more young black men in jail than college: BoJ Stats disprove
# 42 Claims he never said he was a proponent of single-payer universal health care; Video proves he did
# 41 Obama claims remarks to industrialists were greeted with silence, shows he can deliver tough message: video of ovation
# 40 Obamas claim you don't rip opponents & leave on roadside:he did to Alice Palmer
# 39 Obama denies saying Indiana could be tie-breaker: he did
# 38 Obama omits that Pastor Wright led divestiture campaign from Israel
# 37 Obama claims Church not controversial; he lied since 86
# 36 Lied about intention of taking US out of NAFTA
# 35 Obamas claim poverty growing up: both distort reality
# 34 Obama denies meeting Saddam's Auchi; sworn Fed. witness places Obama at undisclosed party for Auchi at Rezkos
# 33 Obama lies about not attacking Clinton over her Bosnia lies
# 32 Obama claims he passed ethics reform; ABC News shows he lied
# 31 Obama says he's consistently opposed NAFTA; in October 2007 he supported expansion to Peru
# 30 Obama claims he's above dirty political tricks; Clinton proves he lies
# 29 Obama claims his "bitter" remarks were mangled; then repeats attacks on guns religion and angry people
# 28 Obama stated he'd stopped wearing flag pin on chest; now denies saying it, but video proves he is lying
# 27 Obama says he did no favors for Rezko;untrue; he lobbied for him
# 26 Changes story repeatedly re Rezko's help in buying mansion
# 25 Obama claims he never supported a ban on handguns; he has twice
# 24 Obama claims stays at UCC as Pastor acknowledged comments were inappropriate; Wright never made this statement
# 23 Campaign is beholden to "only the people" as unlike McCain/Clinton he does not take lobbyist /PAC money; LIES!
# 22 Claims campaign never called Canada to say Obama not truthful re wanting leave NAFTA; smoking gun memo proves lied
# 21 Mrs Obama admits she's never been proud of America; Video disproves Sen.
Obama's later claim she was misquoted
# 20 Claimed would not run for President in 2008
# 19 Claims famous in Il. for not letting lobbyists even buy him lunch; took from teachers, trial lawyers, hospital admins
# 18 Claims his parents met at Selma civil rights march; Washington Post noted it occurred 4 yrs after Obama's birth
# 17 BO claims courageously opposed war in 2002 during US Senate campaign; He did not announce his senate bid until 2003
# 16 Claims he passes tough Nuclear Law; NYT uncovers he took Nuclear Industry pay-off and watered down the bill
# 15 Claimed he didn't know Rezko was corrupt when did a real estate deal with him; Chicago papers prove he lied
# 14 Claims does not accept money from Big Oil: Real Clear Politics proves he lied
# 13 Denies using his Hopefund PAC to influence endorsers; but the Washington Post reviewed the record and disagreed
# 12 Claims his State Chair is not a drug company lobbyist; Time magazine cries Bullshit
# 11 Lies about how much he received in campaign funds from Rezko; forced to significantly increase the amount twice
# 10 Claims he did not fill out the 1996 candidate questionnaire; Politico proves he lied
# 9 Took credit for achievement of others in Chicago; resume puffing exposed by LA Times
# 8 Claims he kept no State Senate records; now he changes his story
# 7 Denies doubling wife's salary was due to becoming US Senator; omits within months he earmarked $1 million for hospital
# 6 Denied meeting Saddam bagman Auchi; now admits he was at his dinner but does not remember talking to him
# 5 Denies using his church for politics: IRS disagree
# 4 Claims he was unaware of Pastor Wrights 911 comments: NYT proves he lied
# 3 Claims his father was a goat-herd; actually he was a man of privilege
# 2 Claims not an active Muslim as child; Indonesian paper proves he lied
# 1 Claims father linked to Kennedys; Washington Post proves he lied

A Sabbatical Of Sorts/A Break from the Election

Christ! Its tough keeping up with Politics. It requires more attention and energy than my previous vice: Heroin. And all of you know how much that took out of me.

Anyways, Im taking a few days to ease my mind the only way I know how; Diving into hard core pornography and turning off my phone. With any luck I'll injury myself within the first few days of the demanding 24 hour constant masturbation ritual and I'll be forced to take a break from that too before dying from exhaustion.

If that happens, well...I'll just have to chalk it up as another Sports Injury and take myself off the roster for a few days. My trainer will be offering me sound advice over mojitos telling me to "Keep the ice on that arm, otherwise you'll never get through Drunk Russian Girls Vol. 7 ...Its a goddam 4 hour video Doug and Thats just the bare minimum its going to take just to get you nationally ranked. I'm training you to be the next champ in your field, we are going home with that fucking trophy whether you like it or not!"

I cant blame him for that disposition either. He is a professional just like myself, and theres will never be room for amateurs who find nobility in making it just far enough to take second or third place.

I'll leave you with this Political gem courtesy of James Carville "Winning is about fucking your enemies, and elections are about fucking your friends" Selah

The Most Flawed Canidate in History Part 1

How to ruin America, the new chic is fascism, get out of the way and empty your pockets...the government needs more of your money


I know what youre thinking: "Doug, you must be tweaking on good dope to doubt the Mesiah, Our Savior!"

Not exactly. I have this totally orthodox way of assessing current events and politics. I use a method called "objective thinking". Its a strange concept but this is how it basically works: I dont believe anything I read in the media until Ive been able to research it inside and out, even then I dont even form an opinion (that would be subjective) but rahter relay the facts to everyone that doesnt have the time to research things like I do. So here we go, lets take a look at what 48% (AP wire current polls as of 6/19) of America is ready for: Change!

I present you with the Obama Doctrine, designed by the most Flawed Canidate in American History. This is looking to be a 23 part series (im not kidding)Everyday we will cover a new area of interest. Todays is TAXES

The Policies that I find absolutely terrifying:

The Highest tax raising across the board in the History Of America. "Pay More, Have Less"

1)Income Tax: This will be the highest raise ever in American History and this one is a two part/Double Whammy. Obama wants to let the Bush Income Tax Cut run out and NOT renew it. Then he is proposing to raise it to 39%!
a) Personal Income tax-(I know what youre thinking: "Damn straight, lets take down the rich." Ok, no problem. But who do you think a higher income tax is going to hurt the most? Middle class and the Poor.
b) Corporate Income tax-"yeah, lets stop all those corporations dead in their tracks" Heres the thing; corporations DO NOT PAY TAXES!! If their taxes go up, they pass the cost on to the consumer by raising prices for their goods and services. So we, the consumer, will not only be paying more in our own personal income tax but the cost of everything will also have to go up. Nice!

Windfall Profit Taxes on Oil Companies-If you havent noticed we are on the brink of a severe energy crisis in America. Democrats that are sided with the Environmentalist Lobby have blocked us from producing any of our own energy in every possible way. I'll address the energy problems and costs below. For Now lets stick to the tax, I have a few crazy ideas. Im no Economist but I do have common sense and heres what Im wondering:
1)How does the Windfall Profit Tax help the big evil oil companies to produce any additional oil? It seems to me that along with the other 2,843 regulations that are put on them that a new tax would in fact increase their overall operating costs. (See above). Also remember, we now believe Big Oil is evil, well if thats true do you think that they wont retaliate if there is an unjustified additional tax put on them?
2)"Obscene Profits" is how Obama summed up the oil companies and their dollars. However, Big oil operates with an 8% profit margin. (The lowest profit margin of any industry in the world) Thats .08 on the dollar. The federal and state gas tax is an average of .18 on the dollar. Our government makes more money on Gasoline than the oil companies and for doing absolutely nothing. Do you realize that if Jimmy Choo, Juicy, or Dolce Y Gabana operated with an 8% profit margin most of their clothes would be in Walmart for $14.99 and less. So I guess an 8% profit margin is only unacceptable if you deal in energy. Lets take a look at some other Big Business in America and why we arent hitting them for their "Obscene Profits"
>Brewers-10%
>Electronics14%
>Microsoft-27%
>Hedgefunds-87%!!! Thats a license to print money. Do you realize that the top hedgefund managers make an average of $900 Million a year? Im not talking about the top Hedgefund managing companies, Im talking about Individual people. Geoffrey Epstein in Greenwhich makes 800 million a year, isnt that an obscene profit? Why isnt Obama and the Dem party going after the Hedgefund managers? Oh wait, I remember now...Its because Dems work in them and own them. Chelsea Clinton works for a hedgefund, John Edwards owns one. So I guess they would never tax themselves. By the way, last year on Wall Street, Bonuses for Hedgefund managers totaled 14 Billion dollars. Thats aside from their salaries. I know youre thinking, "But theres hundreds of thousands of people that work on Wall Street so thats not so bad. Yeah right, that 14 billion dollars in bonuses was split between 8 individuals!

Capitol Gains Tax-
Obama was asked if he was aware that raising the Capitol Gains tax in a poor economy would dramatically hurt the entire economy further. He admitted to knowing that and still sticks to his guns and wants to raise it.

Estate Tax-Otherswise known as the "Death Tax". Obama wants this raised to 40%!! So if you work hard your entire life, raise a family, and live the American Dream provided to you through hardwork and peserverance you will now (under his policy) have to give up 40% of everything (money, property, etc) to the Government just because you died. Why even bother working hard to leave anything to your kids. Heres a secret: Dems rejected the minimum wage increase for 10 years in congress when it was proposed by the Republican party. The only way they would accept it was if attached to the same bill was a hike in estate tax. Think about how Ridiculous this is.

I'll Back tomorrow with more Hot Button Issues and the Truth that the liberal media seems to be conveniently leaving out. Plus remember, we cant ever question the Mesiah, Our Savior. Please

Those sly little Polar Bears/Global Warming Update and Al Gore The Professional TARD

Hey Do you guys remember Dirk Kempthorne (Secretary of the Interior) ? Me neither! But I'll tell you who he is.

Hes the savior of the Polar Bears getting them on the Endangered Species List!!!

WoooHoooo!!

That was done because Core Ice in the Polar Regions were melting and their living spaces were becoming obsolete right?

WRONG! lets get educated first then get involved.

Heres parts from his interview on the Glenn Beck Show today:

Excuse me, he put them on the "Threatened List" first and then put them on the endangered list to gain more protection for these great animals.

But lets find out why:
***************************************************************************************
Glenn Beck asking about Polar Bear Population:

GLENN: Population has gone up from 5,000 to 25,000.



INTERIOR SECRETARY KEMPTHORNE: It has. And much of that is based on hunting has been restricted. In this ruling we found oil and gas activity has no effect on the polar bear and since 1972 we have been operating under the Marine Mammal Protection Act, which is more stringent than the Endangered Species Act. So on this ruling I simply married the two together so that the activities of those that have been operating for 30-plus years under Marine Mammal Protection Act, they understand how it works and so it doesn't change how they operate.



(Oh so, the drastic reduction in their numbers over the past few decades have been from Illegal hunters.

Hmmmm Thats not what Ive been reading in every newspaper, magazine, and web site for the past 5 years)

So im starting to get it now. Maybe Al Gore was just really misinformed. Interestingly enough Al Gore took a challenge last year as well to prove that energy conservation would be part of the solution to help slow down Green House gasses. So, he monitored his own Kilowatt (Electric use) in his own home for the period of one year.

Being the King Hell Advocate of Global Warming I bet the reduction of the electricity he used would be a monumental example for all of us to follow in the near future right?

WRONG!

His Electrical usage is up 10% (in kilowatts) from last year. His mansion in Nashville requires the same amount of electricity to power 23 average homes. ( or 230 regular homes for a month) Isnt this the same guy who is telling us all to shrink our own carbon footprints by taking cold showers, not turning on the AC, drying our clothes on a clothesline, etc? Plus he has a Gulfstream 2 Private Jet that he takes everywhere to discuss reducing our carbon footprint.

Oh the irony!!!

Links to articles
http://www. foxnews. com/story/0,2933,369084,00. html

http://www. glennbeck. com/content/articles/article/198/11539/

http://www. tennesseepolicy. org/main/article. php?article_id=764

My Letter To Obama

This letter was faxed last week directly to Obama's Headquarters

Douglas Matthew Stewart
National Affairs Desk
Democratic Preservation Society

To: B. Obama
Re: Moving Forward/Gaining Points Urgent
Cc: G. McGovern, H. Reed, N. Pelosi, R. Limbaugh


Dear Senator,

Allow me to congratulate you in advance on your landslide victory making 2008 the year that all of America was awaken by a true agent of change. This election is yours Mr. President, If I may be so bold. However, there are a few key points that need to be addressed in order to ensure this victory. I've taken the liberty to outline them below for immediate review. For better or for worse, we are in The Business.

Your opposition, mainly bible thumping conservatives, are on their last leg fighting viciously to the death like an injured badger cornered by hunting dogs. They are down to the last of their ammunition, which happens to be, running you through the mud by questioning your personal relationships with a handful of semi-politically active acquaintances. Their efforts in turn are painfully obvious to the American People that they have no where else to turn and they can clearly see the practice of maintaining division through the tired tactics of David Duke style propaganda. But so what? They forget that you are from Chicago and to make it out of Chicago politics (or in) without having to deal with the swine is impossible. Im in Chicago often and when I come home I come back so crooked that I need to be screwed down to an ECT table at Whiting Forensic for a few days, just to straighten myself back out.

They (Conservatives) claim to be the stepping stones of Democracy. Well...If thats true then you must use them accordingly..Step on them and stand tall! By the end of this year we, together, will right all the wrongs and we will run Joe Lieberman out of DC. Next year he will be working as an Asst. Manager at Circuit City and he will live out his years with contempt and disdain towards politics always reminded of exactly how he missed out when The Fun started.

I fully support your policies that will allow wealth to eventually reach the poor giving them the great chance to finally experience The American Dream. For too long we have sat idle allowing the well-to-do's to drift along comfortably while struggling young families are forced to wait two, three or even four years to obtain an LCD or Plasma High Def TV. Do you know that some Americans dont even have internet access? Its true...I am one of them. But I rest easy knowing this will all soon change. Remember that crazy Rusky named Lenin? Well, he had the same idea as you and the people built statues of him. Its never too soon to secure your Legacy. I suggest we start building Obama statues immediately. We'll start in CT. (How about one on Liebaremans front lawn!! Scratch that) Approve funding immediately. I will create the organization and line up the contractors. Do it Now. This is the most important aspect of your campaign over the next 150 or so days. You're Welcome.

Dont play the age card on McCain-Not even as a passing joke. No-We, The American People, all have one thing in common; When we see good 'ol uncle John we think "My God, He's going to croak any minute!" You just need to remind the American People of what life likes like on Big John's street: There are no kids hula-hooping or riding bikes, uprooted trees lay strewn across the roads making them impassable, families rarely step out of their dilapidated houses and their septic tanks explode flooding the backyards with excrement at noon on the 10th of every month like clockwork. Boom! A shit storm, literally. No wants to live in that neighborhood.

Side note: remember LBJ ("Lets make the bastard deny it")?? Well, if things get tough in the fast lane you could always accuse McCain of selling fat chinese boys out of the back of 18-Wheelers behind a Wal-Mart in Little Rock. Everyone knows its not true but it would make him sweat, and then he would have to deny it. The media would waste weeks on it trying to obtain proof.

Keep Al Gore away from the White House- Please. 163% of Americans believe that he is a human hybrid with the DNA of a Downs Syndrome hyena. If you see him coming turn out the lights and lock the door. Remember Halloween? No one would ever approach the house with the lights out. No lights meant no Goodies. Al Gore will eventually get the picture. Plus most of America is starting to catch on to the business side of Global Warming. A lot of us are starting to follow the money and it doesnt look good. Remember, this is the same guy in 1996 said that we shouldnt sign the Global Warming treaty. People know this now. Plus a lot of us are starting to question why the Livestock industry hasnt been labeled a threat. 18% of all greenhouse gasses (in Co2 equivalent) is created by them [livestock industry], which happens to be larger than the worldwide transportation sector. So we are going to have to outlaw the sale of beef in order to start making positive steps towards improving our great planets health. Eventually the bovine population will wither putting them on the endangered species list. Wait, wouldnt environmentalists take action to restore their numbers putting us right back to where we started? What a paradox! Disregard that for now. I will have to think about it and develop a thorough proposal. When finished we will discuss it over a round of golf. I own plaid pants and promised myself that I would never wear them unless I was playing golf or saving the world. This way I could kill two birds with one stone. God Bless America.

Zero Tolerance to Dictators/Lasers- We are moving towards high impact military lasers Miltary Laser that can melt a tank from 100 miles away at an altitude that is literally outerspace. Immediate development is needed on this technology. Once complete we can tell any dictator to cease any action by saying "Sir, your country needs to stop (insert problem here) Because I have little Sammy Hill, last years Halo3 Champion up there (point up), I dont know exactly where because his location is classified, but if you dont stop (insert problem here) immediately...Well, I'll have him melt your head." (wait for applause). Believe me, no one, no matter how evil they are wants their head melted from a laser fired by a ten year old boy in space. Todays children are Playstation Professionals and we need to invest in them as valuable military assets.

You will find that I am in fact a member of the Republican Presidential Task Force. But never mind that, Ive been on your side from the beginning and I am available for immediate hire.

Well, thats all for now. Please send money immediately as I am finding it near impossible to get by.

Yours in victory,
Douglas M Stewart
203 745 **** (mobile)
702 237 **** (office)